You Probably Already Know
5 questions to help you figure out what's actually going on when you feel stuck
Grab a coffee. Give yourself twenty minutes.
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What's the thing you keep thinking about?
Not "my marriage." Not "work." Not "everything." The actual thing.
The conversation you keep rehearsing in the shower. The decision you've been "sleeping on" for eight months. The text you keep not sending.
If three things just came to mind, pick the one that showed up first. That's usually the one.
What are you telling yourself it means?
We don't just have experiences. We attach meaning to them, fast, and usually without noticing.
Write down the story you're telling yourself. You don't have to decide whether it's true. Just get it out where you can look at it.
A story isn't a lie. It's just not automatically the truth, either.
What happens in your body when this comes up?
This is the one smart women want to skip. Stay with me.
Your body has been reacting to this thing the entire time you've been thinking about it. Your head explains. Your body tells on you.
Bring the thing to mind. Really let it in. Then notice what happens.
Circle anything that fits.
There's no right answer here. You're not diagnosing anything. You're noticing.
You can't choose differently from a clenched body.
BE WHERE YOUR FEET ARE
- Put your feet on the ground.
- Feel the floor.
- Unclench your jaw.
- Drop your shoulders.
- Take a breath.
What do you actually need right now?
Not what you should do. Not what your kids, your husband, or your team need. Not the five-year plan.
You. Right now.
Sometimes it's big. Usually it's small and a little inconvenient. A nap. A hard conversation. Permission to not decide yet. Saying no to one thing. Someone telling you you're not crazy. (And sometimes it really is protein and sleep before journaling.)
If you stopped trying to figure it out for a minute... what do you probably already know?
Take your hands off the keyboard. Take a breath. Then answer.
Be where your feet are.
You don't have to solve your whole life today.
You don't have to do anything with what you just wrote. Not yet.
That urge to turn it into a project, a plan, a color-coded spreadsheet? That's go mode. I see you. I am you.
Sometimes the work is just getting honest about the thing that's actually asking for your attention. That's it. That counts.
So for the next few days, try this. When the thing comes up, notice the story. Notice your body. Notice what you need. Don't fix it. Try it and see what happens.
There is no finish line. There's just the next honest moment.
HERE'S WHAT YOU NOTICED.
Your words. Nobody else's.
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Still circling the thing?
Sometimes you've done all the noticing you can do on your own. Not because you're doing it wrong. Because you're inside it. It's hard to read the label from inside the jar.
LET'S WORK THROUGH IT
Bring me the thing.
A private 90-minute life coaching session for when there's one thing you keep circling and you're too close to it to see clearly from inside of it.
We slow it down. We find what's underneath it. We work with what actually shows up, in your head and in your body.
I'm not going to hand you the answer. (You probably already know it, remember?) You'll leave seeing the thing differently, more connected to yourself, and clearer about what comes next.
One session. One thing.
LET'S WORK THROUGH ITHEY LORI